Thought of having a quick check-in session with your partner? Great! But what exactly are check-ins?
They’re your designated time to sit down together and discuss openly how you’re both feeling about your relationship. Whether you make it a weekly ritual or a more spontaneous occasion, these conversations can work wonders in bringing you closer.
Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, a renowned couples therapist, suggests that these sessions aren’t just for fixing problems. They’re equally valuable for celebrating your strengths and ensuring that you’re both on the same page.
General Relationship Check-In Questions
- What’s something you appreciate about how we handle conflicts, and is there anything we can improve on?
- How can we ensure that we’re both feeling respected and valued in our day-to-day interactions?
- Are there any unspoken worries or concerns you’ve been carrying that you’d like to share?
- Is there a communication barrier or misunderstanding that we can work on clarifying or addressing?
- Have I done anything recently that may have upset you? How can I make things better?
Household Related Relationship Check-In Questions
- Are there any adjustments we can make to our chore schedule or routine to better accommodate our changing needs and schedules?
- How do you feel about our current division of household responsibilities?
- Are there any specific expectations or preferences you have regarding the cleanliness or organization of our living space that we can discuss and address together?
- How can we show appreciation for each other’s efforts in maintaining our home and making it a comfortable space for both of us?
- Is there a household task you feel particularly skilled at and enjoy doing, and how can we incorporate that into our routine?
Finances Related Relationship Check-In Questions
- What are our current financial goals, and how can we work together to achieve them?
- Are there any adjustments or changes we need to make to our budget or spending habits?
- How can we ensure transparency and open communication about our financial decisions and responsibilities?
- Are there any financial concerns or anxieties you’d like to discuss and address together?
- How can we encourage each other to save and invest for our future?
Family Dynamics Relationship Check-In Questions
- How can we support each other in navigating any challenges or conflicts within our respective families?
- Are there any upcoming family events or gatherings we need to plan for or discuss?
- How can we ensure that we maintain a healthy balance between our families and our relationship?
- Are there any specific boundaries we need to establish regarding our interactions with our families?
- How can we create a supportive and inclusive environment for both of our families?
Boundaries Related Relationship Check-In Questions
- Are there any specific boundaries or expectations you’d like to discuss and reinforce in our relationship?
- How can we ensure that we’re respecting each other’s personal space and privacy?
- Are there any changes or adjustments we need to make to our current boundaries to promote a healthier relationship dynamic?
- How can we communicate effectively about our boundaries and ensure mutual understanding?
- What are some ways we can show respect for each other’s boundaries in our day-to-day interactions?
Intimacy Related Relationship Check-In Questions
- How do you feel about the level of emotional intimacy in our relationship, and is there anything we can do to deepen our connection?
- Are there any specific physical or emotional needs you’d like to discuss and address regarding our intimacy?
- How can we ensure that we’re prioritizing quality time for each other despite our busy schedules?
- Are there any new experiences or activities you’d like to explore together to enhance our intimacy?
- How can we communicate more openly and honestly about our desires and preferences in our intimate relationship?
Communication Related Relationship Check-In Questions
- How do you feel about our current communication patterns, and is there anything we can do to improve them?
- Are there any specific topics or issues you find difficult to discuss, and how can we work on addressing them more effectively?
- How can we ensure that we’re actively listening to each other and understanding each other’s perspectives?
- Are there any new communication techniques or strategies we can implement to foster better understanding and empathy?
- How can we encourage open and honest communication without fear of judgment or misunderstanding?
How to Get Started with Relationship Check-In Questions?
Firstly, Set Aside a Dedicated Time
Choose a specific time that works for both you and your partner. It might be a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly occurrence, depending on your schedules and preferences. Aim for a time frame that suits your lifestyle, typically around 30 minutes, ensuring it’s neither too rushed nor too lengthy.
Initiate Conversation with Your Partner
You can say something like, “I’ve been thinking about us and how we can make our relationship even stronger. I think it would be great for us to have regular check-ins where we can talk about how we’re both feeling.”
Don’t Forget to Set Some Ground Rules throughout the Whole Conversation
“I will listen actively and attentively when my partner speaks, without interrupting or jumping to conclusions.” “I will approach our conversations without judgment, creating a safe space for my partner to express their feelings and thoughts openly.” Or, “I will be honest and open in my communication, fostering a relationship built on trust and transparency.”
Remember, the aim is to actively listen and support each other. Give it a try! Who knows, it might just become a cherished part of your time together.
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Sally George is a Psychologist & the Editor of Gentle Meanings. She shares thought-provoking tools, asks insightful questions, and encourages her readers to be gentle with themselves.